Moustache watching...

My new favourite pastime is to spot the best mustaches.  Pakistan is truly exceptional in this.

I don't really get out much, but the other day we went to Murree, which is GORGEOUS by the way, and while we were out, I delighted in all the mustaches on display.

I'd post photos, but I don't want to blind you with the brilliance, so instead, I thought I'd link to these fine specimens.  I'd say Pakistan wins for Style 2, 4, and 5.  Style 3, 11, and 19 look more like the types I see the Germans sporting in the moustache competitions they have.

Movember should really come to Pakistan.  I think they'd win in an international olympic moustache sporting event!

Shel Silverstein

In my inbox this morning there was a notice for "SCOOTERS FOR SALE".  Two cute refurbished black and white vespas.  Darling.

What is funny is that for whatever reason, the title reminded me of this poem from my childhood by Shel Silverstein. What a legend!

FOR SALE

One sister for sale!

One sister for sale!

One crying and spying young sister for sale!

I’m really not kidding,

So who’ll start the bidding?

Do I hear the dollar?

A nickel?

A penny?

Oh, isn’t there, isn’t there, isn’t there any

One kid that will buy this old sister for sale,

This crying and spying young sister for sale?

I probably haven't read it for 20 years or something crazy like that.  Funny how things stick.  It started reminding me of all the classics... BOA CONSTRICTOR... SICK... PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH...

What a love. Thanks Shel!

Butterflies. Lots and lots of butterflies.

I took this video in Sipora, and for me, the butterflies are reminders to invite change.

A lot of changes have happened, but I still need to grow and invite more change to come into myself and into my life.

I need to change and grow and be a better me.

Walking down the street in Padang

Below is a video from walking down Jalan Joni Anwar in Padang.

If families can afford motorbikes, they buy one and pile the entire family on them.  I've seen a father driving, with his wife behind him, 2 kids between them, a child on the back of the bike, and another child standing in the area between the father and the handles.

Just finished filming

Hey all,

Just finished filming a part in a local film.

So happy!
Sara

Moving from Head to Heart

For the past couple of weeks I haven't been checking out my mom's Wisdom Workouts, but I have kept them in my inbox so that once I felt that I had some time to check them, I definitely would. 

I just went to this wisdom workout and it resonates with how I've been feeling.  The funny thing is that although mom posted it back in September, it was just the other day I finally put words to how I am feeling, when I wrote her an email update and in it I wrote "I'm ok... but I'm just feeling lost in space.  Not even space, lost in my brain.  I just feel like a big pulsating brain that is thinking thinking thinking about all the possibilities and all the unknowns and what is gonna happen next, and then some more thoughts on top of some more thoughts."

So, the first part of what she wrote is TOTALLY DESCRIBING ME! When I'm invited to "take a leap of faith" (I actually quite like those), I immediately hear that children's song "slide down my rainbow, into my cellar door. And we'll be jolly friends, forever more!"  Perhaps that could even be my serenade to my heart.

And now I ask my jolly friend this question:  "What is right action for me at this specific time ~ today ~ in my life?"

What I hear is that I'm doing it... I just need to remember to take more of those cleansing breaths and keep my heart open.

I can do that.  It is a bit scary though.  I think I will take some more of those breaths.

Right on!

On the surface of the world right now there is
war and violence and things seem dark.
But calmly and quietly, at the same time,
something else is happening underground
An inner revolution is taking place
... and certain individuals are being called to a higher light.
It is a silent revolution.
From the inside out. From the ground up.
This is a Global operation.
A Spiritual Conspiracy.
There are sleeper cells in every nation on the planet.
You won’t see us on the T.V.
You won’t read about us in the newspaper
You won’t hear about us on the radio
We don’t seek any glory
We don’t wear any uniform
We come in all shapes and sizes, colors and styles
Most of us work anonymously
We are quietly working behind the scenes
in every country and culture of the world
Cities big and small, mountains and valleys,
in farms and villages, tribes and remote islands
You could pass by one of us on the street
and not even notice
We go undercover
We remain behind the scenes
It is of no concern to us who takes the final credit
But simply that the work gets done
Occasionally we spot each other in the street
We give a quiet nod and continue on our way
During the day many of us pretend we have normal jobs
But behind the false storefront at night
is where the real work takes a place
Some call us the Conscious Army
We are slowly creating a new world
with the power of our minds and hearts
We follow, with passion and joy
Our orders come from the Central Spiritual Intelligence
We are dropping soft, secret love bombs when no one is looking
Poems ~ Hugs ~ Music ~ Photography ~ Movies ~ Kind words ~
Smiles ~ Meditation and prayer ~ Dance ~ Social activism ~ Websites
Blogs ~ Random acts of kindness…
We each express ourselves in our own unique ways
with our own unique gifts and talents
Be the change you want to see in the world
That is the motto that fills our hearts
We know it is the only way real transformation takes place
We know that quietly and humbly we have the
power of all the oceans combined
Our work is slow and meticulous
Like the formation of mountains
It is not even visible at first glance
And yet with it entire tectonic plates
shall be moved in the centuries to come
Love is the new religion of the 21st century
You don’t have to be a highly educated person
Or have any exceptional knowledge to understand it
It comes from the intelligence of the heart
Embedded in the timeless evolutionary pulse of all human beings
Be the change you want to see in the world
Nobody else can do it for you
We are now recruiting
Perhaps you will join us
Or already have.
All are welcome
The door is open
~ Author unknown

(thanks to my soulmate bestfriend for sharing this)

I ❤ the mooncup

When out with girlfriends, or in a girl group, I often inappropriately start talking about my mooncup.  I LOVE IT! It has totally revolutionalised my life, and made what some women call the "monthly curse" not even a big deal! I'd even go so far to say that I welcome it!

I wish that every woman would know about the mooncup, which is part of why I inappropriately tell women about it... all the time!  

I bought mine at Commonsense Organics in Wellington a few years ago - and I have never looked back! It is especially A-mazing if you are out and about, and if you are travelling... BEST FRIEND you could have.

As most of you know, I have been living in Indonesia for the past year, and I have no idea how I would have made it so long without my monthly companion.  Seriously! No mess. No trash to throw away. No taking up space in my already overflowing luggage!

In addition, there are no nasty side effects (like TSS), and there isn't evidence to throw away (I was SO GLAD for no embarrassing evidence when living in a country where your rubbish gets strewn across the front of your house by the roaming dogs and other animals).  There isn't bleach or other chemicals that are put into most tampons and pads... so it is a healthier option.

So, if you don't know what I'm talking about, check it out here http://www.mooncup.co.uk/ or there is a US website here http://www.mooncup.com/index.html (I am happy to answer any questions you might have).

3 Cheers for the mooncup! HiphipHOORAY! HiphipHOORAY! HiphipHOORAY!

Futureme

So, every once in awhile since... since I think I was at CU, I go onto this site, and I write a letter to myself about what is going on at the moment, and where I hope to be, and then I send it to myself; my future self.

To be honest, I probably write the emails to myself when I'm feeling low or uncertain about life... not neccessarily bad, but so that in the future I can look back and remember that "this too will pass".

It's sort of like a journal entry to yourself.  But instead of having to go through your journal and see what you wrote, you get it sent right to you.

Just thought I'd share. Maybe you want to send an email to your future self?

Wellington

I know every branch, every thorn, every leaf
The contours of your roads, pavements, lanes
The skyline.

I am not from you,
But you are a part of me.

And I can breathe now that I am home.

A new idea...

I´ve had a lot of personal responses from friends and a couple of randoms (thanks everyone!) about wanting to try Beyond Intellect the same way that I use it... by asking a random question and opening up the book.

Not everyone has the book (yet!) so my mom and I were talking and perhaps there is a solution... you can privately email me that you would like a reading done for you, and then I can post what I find, using the same techniques I already use on this blog.

The magic about this is that you don´t even have to tell me what the question is.  You can just email and say "Hey chica.  Can you check your mum´s book?".  I will open the book to wherever I open it, and read what is there.  I´ll use my own intuition to identify the part that needs to be shared.  I will then post the answer from the book using either your initials or a name you want me to put or something anonymous, and then you can read what it says.

If it speaks to you then it would be wonderful if you could share why it was relevant to you or what you learned.

At this point, I´m thinking of starting a new blog for this experiment... but for right now, I´ll use this site.

And, I have one to share for "UE".

Acceptance page 48...

"You can begin to increase your ability to be more flexible in your personal and professional relationships when you can recognize your own and others´ developed and under-developed traits. You can use your knowledge of the four categories of reliability, congruence, openness, and acceptance to bring about cooperation, respect for diversity, and enhanced interpersonal effectiveness.

It is particularly useful to be aware of your under-developed traits.  That knowledge can be used to effectively analyze situations that are not turning out the way you hoped.

Practice performing the new behaviours you have pinpointed and you will find that interpersonal conflicts can be resolved easily and more effectively."

Lots of love,
Sara

Your Happiness Quotient

As I´m still working on courting my "masculine" energy (and finding a balance with my feminine energy) I decided to just open up Beyond Intellect and see what it says.

It is REALLY good.

I think everyone would find a different meaning to the biography that Susan has cleverly shared about Happiness. 

Page 158 is where it is at my friends.  How does it speak to you?

xxoo

Yup. My masculine energy is revved up (because my feminine energy feels totally misunderstood)

So, I decided that I was going to embrace my "masculine" energy this week, and see what happened.

So, these are some of the things that I did:

• On Friday, I dyed my hair a darker colour because I was feeling like my hair was too light at the bottom and too dark at the top and I wanted a same consistency so that I would stand out. I´m sort of against hair dye because I think it´s bad for you, but I told myself "NO MORE WALLFLOWER Sara!"
• On Friday, I told everyone at a party what my opinion is (and internally told myself that I make no apologies).
• On Saturday, I felt like the biggest loud mouth in the world and wished to god that I would have kept all my thoughts to myself.
• Lots of emails to friends and for work over the past week, and then about an hour later thinking that perhaps my friends and colleagues were offended by what I said because maybe what I said sounded heartless or wasn´t written in a pleasant enough way.

So, all in all, I think it has been a successful week of courting my "masculine" energy and feeling TOTALLY UNCOMFORTABLE... so I know my "feminine" energy is still in the driver´s seat.

I suppose this will be a work in progress as I haven´t quite found the balance I am after.

"Mutual Respect" page 152

Bonjour!

This evening I decided to open the book and see what it says.  No thinking about what I´m thinking about and then asking for an answer, just letting the answer come... and then I´ll find out what the question was!

Well. I just read it, and for me, I took it as a reminder that I need to up my masculine energy.  Lately I have been feeling like I´m the smallest mouse in the room with the tiniest voice.  People interrupt me mid-sentence all the time, or something happens just as I get to something important to say, and so the conversation is cut short.

I´m feeling a bit of a wall flower lately and I want to shine dagnabbit!

So... this week will be about courting my masculine energy.  Let´s see what happens...

Cheers to chosen pain!

Well, 9 months later and what do I have to show?  I think visibly I have a few more lines on my face, and a few more grey hairs.  But, all in all, I am happy and healthy.

I emailed my best friend from high school today, and it was funny to realise how much of a Gemini I really am.  Sometimes I like to think that I am less Gemini.  But, nope, I´m all mercurial.  That is me!

It has been difficult to write lately, because so much change has been going on.  All self induced, but nonetheless heart-wrenching and painful.  In some ways I think that if pain just happens to you, you can at least find comfort in it being totally random and out of your control.  When you feel pain because of choices that you have to make... then the responsibility lies entirely with you.

You go through the pain of the experience of the choice you have made, and all that you can think is ‘you chose this' (so stop feeling sad).

But just because you make the choice, doesn´t make it less painful or less sad.  And, maybe your choice was less painful than the choice of continuing on in a way that was not working.

Amen.

Let´s see what Beyond Intellect has for me today... I opened the book to page 18, and my eyes went to "A Path With Heart".

After reading a few pages, what I am gleaning from the information within, is that, I need to remind myself that I have my permission to live my life based on what works for me.  And that I am not bad, or wrong for choosing what no longer worked for me. 

[My] Personal Energy Audit (pg. 104)

I have been feeling low.  However, I can't quite put my finger on what it is that I feel low about.  My life is beautiful.  I am healthy, I am discovering new delights in a new country, I have a degree from an Ivy League University, I have a slew of impressive employers and films, I have a wonderful partner, a great family, awesome friends.  Am I just ungrateful or a pessimistic Debbie Downer?
I open Beyond Intellect to page 105 and what I read about is my "bank of personal energy we can call upon in the pursuit of what we want...". There are four types of "accounts" that you can access throughout different parts of your day and for different interactions.  Susan suggests that "to establish a substantial, full, rich, and abundant inner core you must learn to redeem your inner calmness and peace by seeking time to muse and dream, to contemplate, to learn, and to uncover and discover the forgotten, the disowned, and the disused aspects of yourself."
I close my eyes and imagine meeting my "best future self" in the safety deposit vault of my bank.  We each use our key in the locks and slide the metal box out onto the table. We sit down.  Future self is looking calm and self assured.  Current self is looking more apprehensive, hesitant and scared of being wrong. 
I open the box and the symbol I see is "a glowing, illuminating light.  It is yellow and white and emanates from a strong core. There is no sound, but it is so bright that it feels present.  It also feels warm but is only light, so it doesn't burn".
What this symbol means to me is that I need to just be me and not worry about it (easier said than done).  That old hymn "This Little Light of Mine"comes to mind straight away.

This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine.

Hide it under a bushel? No!
I'm gonna let it shine
Hide it under a bushel? No!
I'm gonna let it shine
Hide it under a bushel? No!
I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine.

Shine all over

[name of town]

I'm gonna let it shine
Shine all over

[name of town]

I'm gonna let it shine
Shine all over

[name of town]

I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine.

 

Speaking of "being the change"...

After weeks of not blogging, I have heaps to say.

I've never been good at patience, so, I thought, I'll just go for it now.

I have a horrible, horrible secret to share.

When given the opportunity, I will watch hours of E! entertainment television.  It is so awful.  I watch these trainwreck of television shows that just exploit people, or show people being dumb or nasty to one another.  I also like to read this website called DListed. The guy is so clever and funny, but it talks about famous people I don't really know about (since I haven't lived in the States for seven years) and I still check it out (wtf!?!).

I am stuck in a Catch 22. I watch this crap (or read it) and give fire to the industry that spits out these awful vapid people.  Then, I think about my young nieces and nephews, and the children of the world, and realise that this is potentially their inspiration.

I'd like to see some stories about real cool people coming out from network television.  People who have aspirations to get a higher education, or make a positive difference to the world.  People who can serve as roll models for the next generation.

I need to turn that crap off.  Stop having conversations about it.  Stop buying it.

Change happens by action, including and ESPECIALLY THROUGH MONEY.  If CEOs, Board Members and shareholders can't make money off of their bad taste ideas, then it will stop the madness.

What do you think?

Ripeness

I had an opportunity to be Master of Ceremonies at an event commemorating the 1 year anniversary of the earthquake in West Sumatra that took so many lives, and damaged so many buildings.  Without thinking, I took the gig.  I really am craving the opportunity to "perform" in front of people.  So, albeit a bit of post agreeing apprehension, I knew I could do it.

The night before the event, I had some alone time, so I decided to consult my Osho Zen Tarot cards, and the card I chose was RIPENESS:

Commentary:

When the fruit is ripe, it drops from the tree by itself. One moment it hangs by a thread from the branches of the tree, bursting with juice. The next moment it falls--not because it has been forced to fall, or has made the effort to jump, but because the tree has recognized its ripeness and simply let it go. When this card appears in a reading it indicates that you are ready to share your inner riches, your 'juice'. All you need to do is relax right where you are, and be willing for it to happen. This sharing of yourself, this expression of your creativity, can come in many ways--in your work, your relationships, your everyday life experiences. No special preparation or effort on your part is required. It is simply the right time.

I definitely thought this was a great metaphor for where I'm at in life.  I'm 30!  I can do anything and everything!  I don't need to be scared or shy or innocent. I can own it and just let it all happen and come to me because the time is right, and I'm right here, right now - RIPE & READY!

So, the event was awesome.  H came too, and we got to meet some really wonderful folks, and we had the opportunity to network.  I had a great time guiding the day's event, and I was really lucky because the speaker's were all informative, which made my job easy for wrap-ups.  I had some good advice from my Mom and Anti, and a mate of mine, B who is an excellent speaker himself told me to get some anecdotes from the community to share. (Thanks Mom, Anti, B and also Mom's group for your good wishes!)

One of the most powerful things I learned from people in the community, is that when the big earthquake came, the fear made them panic, and they forgot all the good things they new to do (like look for clear space, protect their head, get out of the house).  They all just kind of froze.  The other disturbing thing I learned, was that in looking back at the earthquake, the people feel that people lost their humanity.  When the earthquake happened it was only about "survival of the fittest".  Hardly anyone helped the old lady or assisted the mother and child.  I think those are two of the saddest things I learned from listening to people.

It is a true metaphor though.  When fear grips you, you do panic, and it often takes some time to remember your humanity; because all you can focus on for the moment is yourself.

I've come to love two quotes over the years.  The first is from Ghandi and it is "be the change you want to see in the world" and the second, I think is from the Bible and it is "many hands make light work".

Thanks for checking in and apologies for the long pause in blogging.

Here are some photos from the event.

XO,
RIPE & READY Sara

Open the Book. See what it says.

Lots and lots of unknowns right now.  I guess that is the epitome of living, but I knew a time when there were lots of knowns.  The majority of the life I have lived thus far is still made up of being a child/teenager and having limited choices and planned out decisions.  When I was growing up I knew there was summer vacation, then school, then break, school, then summer vacation again.  I knew that I would graduate, and I would go to Columbia, and all these amazing things would happen and my life would start.

I'm well into "my life has started" and I just don't really know what I am doing with myself.  I look online for jobs for me but everything looks so not for me.  I know what I want, and I know what I don't want, and I just don't know how to get it.  So I resign myself to "letting it find me" but that is not a comfortable space.

Okay.  I'm going to open Beyond Intellect now.  Here is what I opened to:

Page 132, An Equal Partnership

I actually started reading on the next page where it said, "Yes to life, yes to love, yes to adventure.  Then the next thing I know, the person whose mouth you jumped out of is crouched in a mangled mess under the covers whimpering and calling my name..."

An Equal Partnership is about Yes and No and boundaries.  I actually think I am really good at saying Yes and No. And, if I'm unsure, I usually go for it anyway and say Yes, and then if I don't like it then I say No.  I don't have a problem with being loyal to myself.

I think we live in a world where most people have a problem being loyal to themselves. So, a person works long hours at a job and misses their children's school activity day.  Or a person turns a blind eye and works for an unethical company. Or a person finds an area of their heart where they can lock away their dreams one by one, with either no intention to visit those dreams again, or with a lie that they will try again... one day.

Top 5

I think top 5 annoying things about living here are:

1. Women and men grabbing at me to touch my white skin.  I don't really understand why they keep doing this.  I have been living here for weeks, and word has spread like wildfire that I am from NZ.  Regardless, I keep getting manhandled and I still don't like it.
2. Having "BOOLAY" shouted everywhere you go.  I realise that I'm different from everyone here, but I guess the thing about being a global traveler is that for me, I long to "blend in".  I want to be a part of the community, and be seen as just another person walking down the street.  When the kids and adults point and shout "BOOLAY!" it makes me realise how I am not one of them and I can never be.  That realisation bums me out a bit, because when it comes down to it I do think we're all the same.
3. Getting charged 3 times what locals get charged.  I get stressed out about this the most because H and I worked really hard to get rid of our debt, and save money while we were preparing to live in Indonesia for 6 months. We're well into our careers, and we have goals and dreams and hopes, and a lot of that takes money.  It is hard to understand if someone wants to know you for you, help you to help, or because they want money and for you to pay for them.  Life is heaps cheaper than in NZ, but we aren't making any money, and we aren't getting any financial support for our work.
4. Not being fluent at the language. I hate having limited ways to communicate with people. It makes me feel claustrophobic, inept and stuck.  I am trying to pick up words and phrases, and I study the language every day through podcasts, but I still find it difficult without the structured learning of a class.  I also dislike the idea of being a typical English speaker and just expecting everyone to speak English to me.
5. Having to wear pants and t-shirts all the time even when you are swimming.  I hate not having the freedom to wear whatever I like, however I like to wear it.  In NZ, I really hate wearing suits and boots, and prefer jandals and jeans and clothes that make me feel good.  Here I always wear the same sort of thing.  And on Sunday when we went swimming for the first time, I was waterlogged from swimming in the same clothes that I was wearing.

Top 5 awesome things are:

1. Having the ability at this time in my life to spend 6 months with my partner, volunteering in Indonesia is awesome.  We learn more about each other and get to share lots of really special moments together.  I don't think many people get to do this because of career, children,  commitments, fear.  It is a really wonderful time in our lives that I feel very privileged to experience.
2. I want to be a famous actress, and I also want to work in the NGO/Not for Profit/Helping people sector.  I'm really tired of big business as what I've found is that there is a huge lack of humanity. I am lucky to be able to take this time, and think more about what I want to do, and get some experience working for an NGO.  I've volunteered all my life, but that has always been on the side.  This is now a full time gig.
3. I'm stoked to be learning new things through language and culture.  Indonesia is such a vast and amazing country.  There are so many ethnicities within Indonesia, and so many ways the people express themselves culturally.  The food in Pariaman is known for being spicy... and it is delicious!  The language here is called Bahasa Minang, and it differs from Bahasa Indonesia.  I love learning more about people through food, language and culture.  And I love having those "WOO HOO!" moments when you can express yourself effectively in another language.
4. Right now, the kids in the neighbourhood and my next door neighbour are godsends.  The kids are just so lovely and protective and inviting.  They check in to see if I'm around to play, and I love it.  Kids are just the best.  So free and sweet and kind.  My neighbour is a sweet heart too, she has an 18 month old baby, and she's just really lovely and comes over to have a chat.  I feel really stoked about where we are living and the community.
5. I'm loving getting to help people.  I don't feel like I am using my full ability at the moment, but I am doing what I can do.  Hopefully as the weeks go by, the team will involve me more and more.