The other day in Jakarta, I wrote: "I get further and further from my other life. I'm not entirely sure of where I am, or where I am going. But, I've decided to just ride the wave and see where it leads me. My 'what ifs' are loud in my mind. But if I had taken some other paths, I would not be able to do all this with H. And that would be unfortunate."
I picked up mom's book, and opened to page 38, titled "Your Best Future Self". Really perfect, don't you think?
There is a visualisation exercise and an invitation to merge "who you are today into who you are destined to become".
The exercise was a perfect one for me, and at just the right moment, to remember that I am on my path, even if I can't necessarily define the path that I am on.
I still have a lot of hopes and dreams for myself, and a lot that I want to accomplish. I want a thriving acting career, and I want to help make this world better than when I arrived. I want to be a mother, and I look forward to the adventure that will bring. I want to live in New Zealand, but I want to see much more of my family and friends back in the states, and travel to Europe more often. I want a loving relationship with my partner. I want to feel more secure in myself, and able to be loving and energy giving. I want to forgive myself for being imperfect and making mistakes and being unkind sometimes. Life's a journey, right?
